Dumb Jokes & Funny Stupid Jokes and Puns

This article is dedicated to one of the most interesting topics – to the dumb jokes. Today we will try to answer the sacral questions like: “How to find the difference between good and dull humor?”, “Who dare tell the stupid jokes?” and, finally, “Why do they exist?”. The latter question concerns both, puns and those who use them in speech. If you are interested in the results of our thinking cap, please, stay with us.

Dumb Riddles

We get started with these hilarious examples of dumb riddles. The scientists often have to deal with the awful things, so we tried not to leave our study and faced “the enemies” with strong bravery. To be honest, we did our best to find out the reason for their existence, and still, we see none! Although we are full of curiosity and continue the research.

Whatf do computers snack on? Microchips.
What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs.
Why didn’t the chicken cross the road? He was a chicken.
What is the difference between one yard and two yards? A fence.
What’s the best Nation in the world? Donation! Give me $10.
What is green, small, hairy and has three white points? Well – nothing, really.
When is a joke a dad joke? When it’s apparent!
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth: hurty!

Dumb Jokes That Are Funny

These subjects to the survey are slightly more sensible: this consumption has lightened our difficult work. These dumb sayings made us smile, just a little bit, but it is a step forward! We are starting to realize, what they are aimed at…

I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger… And then it hit me.
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef but nobody can pee soup!
What do you call a man who rolls in the leaves? Russel.
What Disney movie is about a stupid boyfriend? Dumb Beau.
What’s red and isn’t there? No tomatoes!
What does a skeleton say when he enters a bar? BONEjour!
What to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it’s tearable.

Extremely Stupid Jokes

These two puns made us forget about the afflatus we felt when reading the previous title. We were not prepared to the extreme degree of dullness that waited for us here! Please, help, read them quickly for us to pass on the next ideas!

Did you hear about the guy who broke both his left arm and left leg? He’s all right now.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Everything’s fine. He woke up.
Where did the computer go to dance? To a disc-o.
What’s a three-season bed? One without a spring.
What’s the difference between a bird and a fly? A bird can fly but a fly can’t bird.
Isn’t it funny that when boats get sick, they actually go to the doc(k)?
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back? A stick.

Smart Or Dumb Jokes

Wow, we have found a bit of intelligence! There is a need to turn on our brains, tired of trying to understand the previous jokes. In the case of these phrases you need to have some knowledge to laugh at them, otherwise, you will feel only puzzling.

What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up literally everything.
Helium walks into a bar and orders water. Bartender apologizes, “Sorry sir but we’re currently out of water.” What does Helium do? It doesn’t react.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot. A carrot.
Where do cows go on holiday? Moo York
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What’s blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

Simple Dumb Jokes

As far as we experienced difficulties with the complex jokes, we have decided to try the simple ones. You know what? We did not achieve a great deal even with these clear things. Yet, we still have the strength to search for the answers we promised you to find out!

How come oysters never donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
What happens when a frog’s car breaks down? It gets toad away.
The last 4 letters in the word “queue” are silent. Can they be waiting their turn?
I’m not a big fan of stairs. They’re always up to something.
What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.
What do you call a girl who is always in the bookies? Betty!
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Dumb Clean Jokes

It is always easier to find the truth in conversations. We picked these dialogs to enliven our research. Do you see something that can reveal the new facts? These are just ordinary discussions, what is wrong with them…

Girl: So, how many times a day do you shave?
Man: Well, about 15-20 times every day.
Girl: My god, are you some kind of crazy?
Man: No, I’m a barber.
At work:
Excuse me, may I disturb you shortly?
– Of course, what is it?
– Nothing, I just wanted to disturb you.
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1Forrest1
What does a farmer say when he’s looking for his tractor? “Where is my tractor?”
Did you hear the rumor about butter? Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck.
What did the spider do on the computer? Made a website!

Stupid Jokes That Are Funny Dirty

One of our experts supposed that we should pass through some pressure and offered to consider the stupid dirty jokes. We haven’t the least idea, what they present themselves, but it was nice to read them. Who can escape from sexy human nature then?

Man to a butcher: “I’d like bull’s testicles.” Butcher: “So would I”
How are gay people like mice? They both hate pussies.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick!
Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Cows are from the Moooooooooon.
What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? I’m not sure, but the flag is a big plus!
Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.

Ridiculously Stupid Jokes

To laugh at the animals is always cool and easy! Even if ridiculed, they cannot answer, but still can scare the shit out of you. Especially if talking about the bears – polar, teddy, gummy, etc.

Why don’t teddy bears ever order dessert? Because they’re always stuffed.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Why did the elephant eat the candle? He wanted a light snack!
Why are meteorologists always nervous? Their future is always up in the air.
What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle? The polar bear.
How did Moses cut the sea in half? With a seasaw.
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it’d be a foot.

Dumb Dad Humor

Everyone remembers a bit dull dad’s humor. We have touched the past of the dumb humor and decided to recall the memories of the childhood when our parents had the tendency to crack the stupid jokes. Of course, they believed that their sense of humor is pretty perfect, but we knew the truth!

Do you know what were my dad’s last words before he kicked the bucket? How far do you think I can kick this bucket here?
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
A table! Why did the turtle cross the road?To get to the Shell station! What did the ground say to the earthquake?
How can a leopard change his spots? By moving.
How does a train eat? It goes chew chew.
A drummer and a bass player jump off a skyscraper – Boom Boom.
A guy told me, “Nothing rhymes with orange.” So I replied, “No it doesn’t.”
What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor.

Hilarious Silly Funny Jokes

We feel that it is the equator of our discussions about the silly puns. We are tired, totally exhausted and are ready to get rid of all the materials we have collected, but the thought that we can stand this, gives us the power to continue, even with the Christlers and idiotic chimneys’ dialogs.

What car does Jesus drive? A Christler.
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You’re too young to smoke.
What is a tornado? Mother nature doing the twist!
Where did Noah keep his bees? In the ark hives.
What do you call an alligator that’s wearing a vest? An investigator.
Why did the teacher love the whiteboard? She just thought it was remarkable!
Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife fall asleep? Because of his coffin!

Pointless Jokes for Adults

There is no explanation, why people laugh or cry, but we firmly believe that there should be an answer to the question why the people make lulz at the dirty things. This is our aim – to multiply the number of people on Earth and leave the descendants, so the laugh at this topic is almost as frequent as the desire to reproduce our kind.

What did one of the prostitute’s knees say to the other? How come we spend so little time together?
Why did the woman leave her husband after he spent all their money on a penis enlarger? She just couldn’t take it any longer.
What did one Egyptian say to the other Egyptian after they both farted? “We have a toot in common.”
What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead and I’ll hang around!
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa
What is the difference between an eggplant and a chicken? They’re both purple, except for the chicken.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Because he always gets a hole in one!

Dumbest Jokes Ever

We apologize for the feeling puzzled after reading these jokes. We just wanted you to feel the same that we did when collecting the data for our survey.

Money doesn’t grow on trees, right? So why does every bank have so many branches?
How do trees get online? They log in.
What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto.
My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better.
What does a shark eat with peanut butter? Jellyfish! better
What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A milk dud.
Dad to his son: ” I have nothing against us sharing an opinion, as long as it means that I keep my opinion and you share mine.”

Stupid but Funny Puns

Huh, we are quite close to the solving the riddle! When stumbling over these lines, we became filled with the inspiration! There is something… Funny here?

What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch attached to it? A waist of time.
A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke. Thank goodness it was a soft drink.
Why did the man get fired from his job at the calendar factory? He took a couple days off!
Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed.
No matter how kind you are, German children will always be Kinder.
What did the alien say to the garden? Take me to your weeder.
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny.

Dumb Word Play Puns

Wow, this wordplay invigorated us and stimulated to study further! Among all those dull sayings you have read before, there are some comprehensible and even smart! The wordplay here is really stunning. Or we just cannot understand what is good jokes anymore.

What does a grape say after it’s stepped on? Nothing. It just lets out a little wine.
How do fish get high? Seaweed.
What is black and white and waits on the washing line? A fly in a wedding dress.
What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.
What do sharks say when something cool happens? Jawesome!
What’s E.T. short for? Because he’s got little legs.
Why did the birdie go to the hospital? To get a tweetment.

Pointless Jokes That Make You Laugh

What relation have pigs and bears to the pointless puns? We get more and more questions and tiptoe around the main issues. We hope that even these torpors have at least a drop of sense, otherwise, we will never get the final destination of our analysis.

What is the stupidest animal in the jungle? The polar bear.
Why are pigs not allowed to ride bikes? Because they lack the thumbs to ring the bell.
What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
When a tampon and a sanitary pad are competing at the races, which of them is going to win? The pad! The tampon keeps tripping on the string.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Just follow the fresh prints!
What do you call a fish with no eye? Fssshh.
There’s no i in denial

Lame Jokes That Make You Laugh

After the huge number of the stupidities we have seen, we start to realize that even the dull humor can be lolable. Of course, one can say that we just try to find at least one reasonable answer and there is no sense on our work at all, but we disagree with such an opinion and laugh at these sayings. And cry a bit.

What is green and sits crying in the corner? The incredible Sulk.
Where do we get virgin wool from? Ugly sheep.
Why is Basketball such a messy sport? Because you dribble on the floor!
What did the guitar say to the musician? “Pick on someone your own size!”
What is yellow and black and flies? A group of mustard seeds in leather jackets!
What did the lawyer wear to court? A lawsuit!
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired.

Riddles That Make You Feel Stupid

Finally, we felt us stupid. We, the experts of humor, the investigators of lulz, the overseers of the memes now feel ourselves dull. We are in the dead end, and our energy is almost over, but we hope that you are still reading this – it enlightens our hard and dark path.

What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What’s black, red, black, red, black, red? A zebra with a sun burn.
How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheberg.
What exam do young witches have to pass? A spell-ing test!
Why are rivers always rich? Because they have two banks.
What is a cannibal’s natural first choice in a restaurant? The waiter.

Cheesy Dumb Jokes

The number of the questions is rising. Candy bars, money, cards, diseases – seems like we are in the gangster film. Our brains, inflamed with the thoughts, start to create really crazy ideas. Probably, the authors of these jokes have the same brains since their birthday.

How can you get four suits for a dollar? Buy a deck of cards.
Andy has 150 candy bars. He eats 125. What does Andy have now? Andy has diabetes now.
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots? He was picking his nose.
Why was the burglar so sensitive? He takes things personally.
The frustrated cannibal threw up his arms.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 789!
When does a boat show affection? When it hugs the shore.

Best Ridiculous Jokes

Hmm, these two sayings are not as bad, as we expected. We have left in spirits and found a new lease of life back again!

It has four legs and it can fly, what is it? Two birds.
What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.
Why is the butt divided vertically and not horizontally? It would clap nicely if you ran down the stairs. Ok, now stop imagining it.
Why do ghosts love elevators? Because it lifts their spirits.
Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle? Because he is always lion.
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long? Because its head is so far up from its body.
What did the water say to the boat? Nothing, it just waved.

Stupid Corny Jokes in English

The dull jokes should be united into the science. Let it be called like “the stupid humor studies”. We would become the professionals in this field, though we still cannot overcome “the masters of bluntness” – we are sure that the authors of these things below can proudly have this name.

What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? One says, “Spit out your gum” and the other says, “Choo choo choo.”
What is yellow and cannot swim? An excavator! And why? Because it only has one arm.
What is a mouse’s favorite game? Hide and Squeak.
What is white and rolls up a mountain slope? An avalanche who wants to get home because it’s gotten dark already.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew!
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he never lands.

Stupid Cheesy Jokes

It just came to our minds that the tastes differ. Maybe, there is a great target audience of these jokes?

Last words of a highly poisonous snake? “Drat, I bit myself on the tongue!
What do you get when you cross a dog and an antenna? A Golden Receiver.
Where do bees go to the bathroom? At the BP station!
What did the coach say to his losing team of snakes? You can’t venom all.
What is small, grey and triangular? The shadow of the green triangle!
There are three types of people in the world. Those of us who are good at math, and those of us who aren’t.
What do you call a seagull when it flies over a bay? A bagel.

Joke of The Day

These puns made our day, honestly. They brought a bit of positive mood and laugh in our laboratory, where we sit for a long time, trying to find the answers. Wait, maybe these idiotic things can cheer up people?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?
Michael: The good news.
Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.
Whenever I’m sad I just read my blood donor ID. It always says “B positive”.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat? Because if they fell forward, they’d still be on the boat.
Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job? He couldn’t concentrate!
Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
A horse goes into a bar. Barkeeper: “Why such a long face?”
What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast.

Dumb People Short Jokes

These short and accurate like the shots sayings make us think that not all is lost in the stupid jokes medium! The one-liners are usually cool because of their witticism, so we tried not to judge them too strictly.

One twin to the other: “You are ugly.”
You’ll never believe whom I saw yesterday! Everybody I laid my eyes on!”
A woman starts chatting to a man on a subway: “Hello my name is Margaret!”. The man replies: “Mine not.”
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway.
Why did the robber take a bath? Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.

Most Retarded Jokes

Some of the puns in the list that is presented on this web-page can be understood only by the retarded individuals. We do not want to offend the readers, but still, we can imagine only the tweeting of crickets after of these jokes is told.

It’s always scary when a computer turns into a zombie. It has many mega-bites.
How can you open a banana? With a monkey!
What is yellow and smells of bananas? Ape vomit.
What did the finger say to the thumb? I’m in glove with you.
Which hand is better to write with? Neither, it’s better to write with a pen.
If two vegans have an argument, is it still beef?
Did you hear the joke about the roof? Never mind, it’s over your head!

Really Stupid Kid Jokes

In the childhood, there are a lot of strange things, as we cannot pack all the knowledge that we meet every day. Thus, we understand that the stupidity can reveal itself sometimes and appear in form of dull jokes. At least, the children tried.

Where do you find giant snails? On the ends of giants’ fingers.
If you had 5 oranges in one hand and 5 pears in the other hand, what would you have? Massive hands.
Q: What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A: A spelling bee.
What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “Graaaaaaaains!”
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An im-pasta.
What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? “Oh sheet!”

Funny Common Sense Jokes

There is no humor in obvious things – someone, tell this to the stupid authors of these bloody jokes. We are now crying, reading this, and sincerely sorry for the tortures we made you experience on this page of our website.

What would happen if you threw blue sneakers into the Red Sea? They would get wet.
What is small, grey and triangular? The shadow of the green triangle!
Why does lightning shock people? Because it doesn’t know how to conduct itself.
Two tomatoes walk across the street. One of them screams: “Careful there is a truck comi…SPLASH!!!!”
What do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz? Cheese Was.
Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties? Because they’re such fungis!
What is Harry Potter’s favorite method of getting down a hill? Walking. jk…rolling.

Weird Dumb Puns

Such sayings can not only crack your mental health but also to make you laugh out loud, especially if you successfully spent your time reading all the stupidities that we consider today. The only thing we can advise you – do not accomplish the feat, do not repeat this again and stay away from the dumb jokes since this day.

What do you get when you crossbreed a mail pigeon and a parrot? A mail pigeon who stops to ask for directions.
Why do we consider chickens as friendly animals? Because they lay their eggs instead of throwing them.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey (I’m eighty)
Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll
How did Hitler tie his laces? In little Nazis.
You’ll never believe whom I saw yesterday! Everybody I laid my eyes on!
I want to go camping every year. That trip was so in tents.

World’s Dumbest Jokes

This is the final stage of our survey. It was a harmful experience and we think that we cannot be the same after it. We have found that the dumb puns exist to make laugh those who understand them, and the authors of these puns have almost the same degree of the limo that their creations have. Be positive, guys, maybe several good and funny sayings will save your mental health.

Oh, they were laughing when I told them I’m becoming a stand-up comedian. Well, ha! They’re not laughing now!
If I were to choose between dating and eating a soup – I think I’d rather eat the soup. Not much point in dating it.
When does a cart come before a horse? In the dictionary!
What does a spy do when he gets cold? He goes undercover.
What would Bears become without Bees? Just ears.
How do you feel when there’s no coffee? Depresso.
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.