“Happy birthday” and “death” are paradoxical. How can you even mutter the words “happy birthday” when you know he or she can no longer hear them? Yet, someone important to us may no longer be physically with us but our love and appreciation for him or her do not cease upon death. Special days, like birthdays, always will be theirs. They may no longer feel the personal warmth of our greetings but they are forever worthy of our love and respect.
Celebrating the birthday of a loved one no longer with us does not mean you are stuck or unable to move forward. It means you simply continue to love them despite their physical absence. The pain may even be magnified. Focusing on your intent to honor and remembering them on their birthday can ease the agony. (1)
Inviting other people
You might invite other people over to celebrate and commemorate with you. You can take it as a chance to hold a reunion for you and your relatives. Know that not all will be as enthusiastic. Some people may find celebrating a deceased loved one’s birthday odd. Don’t take it personally. Respect their views. A small but intimate gathering of people who share the same sentiment -- to honor your loved one -- is just as good.
Be mindful of your words and gestures if you are an invited guest. The host(s) may have opened a space for joy but there’s a gap in their heart that may forever be empty.
"To lose someone you love is to alter your life forever. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no-one else can fit it,” writes Jeanette Winterson, author of “Written on the Body.” (2)
Ways to celebrate
⦁ Dine in or eat at home. A buffet, for instance, is suited for a large guest list. Pot luck is also a great idea. Or you can choose to dine at a favorite restaurant of your loved one.
⦁ Charity. Donate to a chosen nonprofit, for example. Perhaps choose an organization your departed loved one once supported.
⦁ Spend the day doing something your loved one used to enjoy doing. It can be sports, a special hobby, or a favorite pastime. (3)
⦁ Visit the grave of your loved one. It’s a place where you can aptly contemplate and offer prayers. You also can make a birthday card and write the words you wish you could have said if he or she were still alive.
Birthday Poem in Heaven
Rhymes are often nice ways to express your deepest feelings. Read some of these poems:
“Every step I take, a memory of you
my tears are never too far.
Words alone, are not nearly enough
to say, how missed you are.”
“Are Birthdays happy in Heaven?
I can’t imagine they’re not.
When we return to our maker
love is all, that we have got.
As we can’t take anything with us
when we leave for the above.
No wealth of money, nor earthy goods
only, treasured memories and love.”
“Your Birthday is a day I treasure
though you’re no longer here.
It reminds me of such happy times
that in heart, I hold so dear.
Even though I feel so sad
that you have gone away.
I wouldn’t change anything
or trade one single day.
So thank you for the memories
that are with me forever.
I’ll treasure those always
’till we are back together.”
“Are Birthdays happy in Heaven?
as your Birthday nears.
A helpless heart, still broken
with a billion, unborn tears.”
“Today is your birthday
In heaven above.
My blessings I send
On the wings of a dove.
Not just for today
But every day hereof.
I think of you always
With all of my love.”
Happy Birthday in Heaven Images
Can’t find the right words? Check out these happy birthday pictures for those in Heaven: