Short Science Based Jokes

  • Want to hear a Potassium joke? K.
  • An atom lost an electron.It said, “Man, I really ought to keep an ion them.”
  • What do you call a microbiologist that has traveled to every country in the world? A man of many cultures
  • Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach? Answer: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
  • Heisenberg stopped by the police for speeding. They asked him if he knew how fast he was going and he replied: “No, but I know where I am“.
  • Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
  • Why was Heisenberg’s wife never satisfied? Answer: When he had the time he didn’t have the energy, and when he had the position, he didn’t have the momentum.
  • An infrared photon walks into a bar and says, “Is it hot in here, or is it just me?“
  • If the number 666 is considered evil…Is 25.8069758 the root of all evil?
  • A science lecturer and a student walk into a bar.
    The scientist says to the barman: “Can I have a glass of H20?“
    The barman hands over the drink and the lecturer walks away.
    Wanting to fit in, the student says to the barman: “I’ll have a glass of H20 too.“
    His funeral is tomorrow.
  • Schrodinger’s Cat recently went on a crime spree.He’s wanted dead and alive.
  • Helium walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.“ Helium doesn’t react.
  • Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?
    To get to the other… eh? Hang on!
  • A neutrino walks through a bar.
  • Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff?Because that’s where students have the most potential.
  • Two scientists walk into a bar. “I’ll have an H2O,“ says the first. “I’ll have an H2O too,“ says the second. The second man dies.
  • Two mathematicians are watching the front door of a building. Two people walk in, then a few minutes later three people walk out. The first mathematician says to the second “if one more person walks in, there will be zero people inside“
  • Heisenberg and Schrödinger get pulled over for speeding.
    The cop asks Heisenberg, “Do you know how fast you were going?“
    Heisenberg replies, “No, but we know exactly where we are!“
    The confused officer says, “You were going 200 kilometres an hour!“
    Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, “Great! Now we’re lost!“
    The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the two men have anything in the trunk.
    “A cat,“ Schrödinger replies.
    The cop opens the trunk and yells “Hey! This cat is dead.“
    Schrödinger angrily replies, “Well, he is now.“
  • I think I lost an electron… I better keep an ion that a photon checks into a hotel. The clerk asks if he needs help with luggage. Photon replies, “i dont have any, I’m traveling light.“heisenberg is pulled over. “Do you have any idea how fast you were going?“ asks the policeman. H: “No. But, I know where I am.“
  • A group of protesters form outside a science lab and start chanting…Time Travel
  • Don’t trust atoms… they make up everything

Short Science Based Jokes