Really Messed Up Inappropriate Jokes

  • Who was the world’s first carpenter? Eve, because she made Adams banana stand
  • If a dove is the “bird of peace” then what’s the bird of “true love”? The swallow.
  • What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom? One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
  • What do you get when you jingle a man’s balls? A white Christmas.
  • Why are black men penises bigger than white men? Because as kids white men had toys to play with!
  • What’s strong enough for a man but made for a woman? The back of my hand.
  • When do you kick a midget in the balls? When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
  • What is a vagina? The box a penis comes in.
  • What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
  • What kind of bees produce milk? Boobies
  • How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just beat the room for being black.
  • What’s the difference between a rabbi and a priest? A rabbi cuts them off. A priest sucks them off.
  • Why are there only two pallbearers at a homeless guys funeral? There are only two handles on a garbage can.
  • Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn’t close his casket.
  • Why do women have orgasms? Just another reason to moan, really.
  • What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates? A tearjerker.
  • Girl: “Hey, what’s up?” Boy: “If I tell you, will you sit on it?”
  • What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
  • What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
  • What do you call a cheap circumcision A rip-off.

Really Messed Up Inappropriate Jokes