Offensive Jokes & Messed Up Jokes

Humorous sayings are usually not aimed at offending someone. They result in a higher mood, laugh out loud and creation of a cozy atmosphere in a group of people. However, there is also grim humor, that triggers only hesitation, puzzling or even hate to the authors of the grim jokes. To be honest, there exist the most qualified experts of offensive puns – they can make you laugh even if you do not want to! We know what we are talking about, and our great collection of offensive jokes proves that. Check this out and be sure that all your tolerance and sense of delicacy will disappear, making way for giggling – do not be surprised because of it.

Extremely Offensive Jokes

Wow, that is very rude jokes! Take the children off the screen, please. The author of these sayings is a really bold person, and we hope that he or she do not dare joke this way out loud in the states, where the politeness is the highest virtue.

***

“My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “No, your generation relies too much on technology!” Then I unplugged his life support.”

***

“What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding… He still hasn’t unwrapped his present.”

***

Offensive Cancer Jokes

Oh, God, no! Oh, God, please, no, you should not joke at cancer! We suppose that our prayers will be heard and such jokes will not grow in number. Help our movement against the cancer puns, read these jokes, realize the degree of their offensiveness and stop, finally, laugh at this topic!

***

“So I suggested to my wife that she’d look sexier with her hair back… Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.”

***

“What’s the difference between cancer and Black people? Cancer got Jobs.”

***

Really Offensive Jokes

We hope that the Jews will live forever. Though, the Jews jokes will live forever too then! Any nation has its own puns, but this very ethnic group has, probably, the greatest group of the followers, otherwise, we cannot explain the phenomenon of such jokes’ number existence.

***

“What happened when the Jew walked into the wall with a hard-on? He broke his nose.”

***

“How did Hitler kill so many Jews? Free transportation.”

***

“Why do Jews have big noses? Because air is free.”

***

Most Offensive Jokes

The famous people cannot avoid the born of the offensive jokes. Rihanna, Chris Brown, and Michael Jackson became the victims of the grim comedians. Though even one of the smartest famous persons in the world, Stephen Hawking, also experiences some attacks. Check out our sayings to reveal which ones.

***

“How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.”

***

“Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can’t do stand up.”

***

Offensive Puns

“What is the difference between…”. It is quite a common question, as it is in our nature, to be curious every minute of our life. The authors of these puns are also full of offensive inquisitiveness.

***

“What’s the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after 3 periods.”

***

“What’s the difference between a Jew and Harry Potter? Harry can escape the chamber.”

***

Incredibly Offensive Jokes

The abusiveness in these sayings has reached the top. It is incredible, how bold can be the jokers!

***

“What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.”

***

“Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, but Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast.”

***

Offensive Redneck Jokes

We do not know, why there exists so great attention to the redneck, but still, the jokes about them are highly popular. We have some too, although they are really rude, and if you are one of a sensitive nature – keep away from these sayings, otherwise, we do not want to be responsible for your psyche!

***

“How do you kill a redneck? Wait ’till he fucks his sister then cut the brakes on his house.”

***

“What is a redneck virgin? A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers.”

***

Truly Shocking Jokes

Have you ever been shocked by the jokes? We are sure you have experienced this. However, one can say that he felt pleasure emotions because of that shock. We should say that there might not be joy and laugh after reading of these very puns.

***

“Say what you want about pedophiles but they do drive slower through school zones.”

***

“What is a pedophile’s favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.”

***

Really Fucked Up Jokes

And now we are going to talk about the Afro-Americans! The world saw plenty times of their participation. Well, the history also contains a lot of funny situations, in which the blacks took the part.

***

“I don’t understand why Obama has to give his speeches behind bulletproof glass. I mean, I know he’s black and all, but I doubt he’ll shoot anyone.”

***

“Who are the two most famous black women? Aunt Jemima and Mother Fucker.”

***

Highly Offensive Jokes

Hello, Jews! Again. We could not stand the number of the puns to their side, so we included a bit more of jokes about them in our top list of offensive sayings.

***

“A Jew, a black, and a Muslim are on a frozen lake, not talking to each other, so I thought I would go over there and break the ice.”

***

“What’s the difference between dollars and Jews? I’d give a shit if I lost 6 million dollars.”

***

“What’s the similarities between a Jew and a stiff nipple? They both disappear after a hot shower.”

***

Most Fucked Up Joke

We supposed that the Jews jokes should be mixed with the other nationalities puns. Our eyes have caught a lot of the sayings about Ethiopians. We have never known any of the representatives of this very group and can just think about the questions like: “Why they are so perfect targets to laugh at?”.

***

“How do you swat 200 flies at one time? Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.”

***

“What’s so good about an Ethiopian blow-job? You know she’ll swallow.”

***

World’s Most Offensive Jokes Ever

We picked these jokes just to remind you what kind of ouns should not be told in life – and they should not exist at all. Be brave, as they are extremely bad.

***

“I was raping a woman the other night and she cried, “Please, think of my children!”. Kinky bitch.”

***

“What do you call five Mexicans on the bottom of a pool? Sinko.”

***

Funny Offensive Jokes

To heal your mental health after the previous jokes, we have chosen these ones. We hope, you will be a bit cheered up, as there is always a need to stop reading shit and smell the roses!

***

“What’s the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.”

***

“How do you know if a Chinese person robs your house? Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later, the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway.”

***

Offensive Jokes One Liners

The offensive statements should be short; as how can you survive after telling them? We have some perfect examples of such puns, use them in any suitable situation. Though we cannot imagine circumstances that will be perfect to say something like this.

***

“What’s white and fourteen inches long? Nothing.”

***

“Why do black people play basketball? They can run, shoot, and steal.”

***

Most Insulting Jokes

These jokes can make you have a heart attack. Honestly, there will be the tough visitors of our site, who will stand these awful things, but think twice before reading this.

***

“What do you call an Ethiopian on a hunger strike? Ethiopian.”

***

“What do you call a white guy surrounded by hundreds of black guys? Warden.”

***

Distasteful Jokes

Numbers plus offensive jokes can hit any target. It really accentuates and enhances the lolable effect, as the more Ethiopians or Jews you take, the greater the pun will be!

***

“How do you get 100 Ethiopians into a phone box?
Throw a tin of beans in.
How do you get them out?
Run past with a tin opener.”

***

“How do you get 100 jews into a car?
Throw a quarter in it.
How do you get them out again?
Tell them Hitler is driving.”

***

Derogatory Jokes

Wow, it seems like we have found some intelligence here! Oh, wait, we misdiagnosed. There is a bit of a scientific approach, but it is used inappropriately and stupidly. Enjoy!

***

“What do you get when crossing an Italian with a gorilla? A retarded gorilla.”

***

“What do you get when you cross a black man and a Mexican. A person who’s too lazy to steal.”

***

Short Offensive Jokes

How different can be the offensive sayings! Some of them are really badass and kicking off, the others are less rough. You can choose your own style everywhere, even in humor.

***

“What is the most positive thing in Harlem? HIV.”

***

“What do you call a white guy surrounded by five black guys? Coach.”

***

Offensive Woman Jokes

In spite of the fact that women have reached a lot, and the modern ones can be perfect in everything, there are still plenty of jokes about them. Well, let’s forgive those jokers: they are obviously very attentive to the most beautiful part of the mankind and trying to gift the girls with even more attention than it is now.

***

“What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.”

***

“What’s the difference between a woman and a computer? You can punch information into a computer.”

***

Nastiest Jokes

The combination of sex and offensiveness is killing! We were impressed by of these jokes, which are the best examples of that combination.

***

“What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? One stops sucking when you slap it.”

***

“What’s the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? They both drip when they’re fucked.”

***

Offensive Adult Jokes

You’d better not to retell the puns, which you are going to see now, with your children being near. They would not understand them but remember that the modern children are much smarter than we were at their age, and they actually can catch the main idea of these adult sayings.

***

“What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? “I feel like a kid again.””

***

“What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with. The other is used to carry groceries.”

***

Dirty Offensive Jokes

Dirty jokes became so an ordinary thing in day-to-day life! They cannot even be called offensive anymore, as the modern people see nothing bad in laughing at intimate topics. Well, there are really disgusting puns, but we care about you and picked the funny ones with a bit of insult.

***

“What do Sarah Palin and Iron Man have in common? They both had a downey jr inside of them.”

***

“What’s the difference between a joke and two dicks? You can’t take a joke.”

***

Very Disturbing Jokes

Do you want to embarrass a person you do not like? Try telling these jokes in a group with this very individual. Believe us, such a gesture will touch him or her to the heart. In a negative sense, of course, huh.

***

“One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.”

***

“What’s the smartest thing to come out of a woman’s mouth? Einstein’s cock.”

***

Offensive Black Jokes

One can say that the intellectual growth influences the growth of the attempts to violate somebody’s rights. The blacks suffer a lot even now, though the time of the slavery had passed a long time ago. Today people try to offend each other with jokes like these, supposing that words cannot really damage.

***

“So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster… Now it doesn’t work.”

***

“What’s white on top and black on bottom? US culture”

***

Super Offensive Jokes

Make the jokes about the Afro-Americans great again! We do not think that the offensive sayings can actually revive the black humor, – it is still alive and feels well – but it can easily lower the number of the jokers! That’s what we know certainly.

***

“What do you call blacks in a sleeping bag? Snickers.”

***

“What do you call two blacks in a sleeping bag? Twix.”

***

Sick Horrible Jokes

Give some noise! Now we present you the disses that will make females cry and writhe in hysterics! If you can stand such a scene – try telling these puns to your girlfriend. You will see a perfect magic trick: the girl will disappear from your life!

***

“Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? She was a woman.”

***

“Do you wanna hear a joke? Women’s Rights.”

***

Most Fucked Up Jokes

These are the last offensive jokes for today. We hope that you enjoyed all the puns we have collected here, and believe that you will also quote these ones too!

***

“I’m not racist, I have a color TV.”

***

“Why are black peoples palms white? Cuz they were up against the wall when god was spray painting them.”

***