Nasty Adult Jokes

  • What’s the square root of 69? Ate something.
  • What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
  • What did one butt cheek say to the other? Together, we can stop this shit.
  • Why did the woman leave her husband after he spent all their money on a penis enlarger? She just couldn’t take it any longer.
  • What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? By the time you’re finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
  • What’s the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo? A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
  • Did you guys hear about the cannibal that made a bunch of businessmen into Chili? I guess he liked seasoned professionals.
  • What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? A glad-he-ate-her.
  • What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
  • Whats long and hard and has cum in it? a cucumber
  • Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
  • Why can’t you play Uno with a Mexican? They steal all the green cards.
  • What do Instagram models eat? Dick Picza
  • What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.? E.T. eventually went home!
  • Why can’t Jesus play hockey? He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
  • What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah? About three inches.
  • What is the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather….kinky is using the whole chicken.
  • What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
  • How many parrots can you fit down a man’s pants? Depends on the length of the perch.
  • What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal? A head hunter.

Nasty Adult Jokes