Jewish Jokes

Any nation has its specific traits. However, Jewish people are the absolute champions when it comes to stereotypes. We don’t consider this to be the negative phenomenon; moreover, we don’t want to offend anyone. In contrast, we are grateful to all Israel sons and daughters for the huge variety of awesome Jewish jokes! Finally, the more distinctive the traits and traditions are, the more interesting is the life! Not all of the Jew jokes we collected for you are polite or top clean. If honestly, some of the gags are rude, inappropriate and really offensive. Just try not to take them seriously! Anyway, we believe deeply that some of the really funny Hebrew puns will help you to know something new about the culture of the nation, while the worst jokes will make you laugh maniacally. So relax and spend a great time reading the most hilarious gags we found for you!

Jewish Wedding Jokes

Undoubtedly, cultural wedding traditions and customs are significant to any nation. However, they can seem weird and funny to others. Jewish ceremony is not an exception, so why not to laugh at it?

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You’re at a Jewish wedding… how can you tell if it’s Orthodox, Conservative, Reform or Reconstructionist? In an Orthodox wedding, the bride’s mother is pregnant. In a Conservative wedding, the bride is pregnant. In a Reform wedding the Rabbi is pregnant, and in a Reconstructionist wedding, both brides are pregnant!

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A modern, Orthodox, Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding, meets with their rabbi for counseling.
The rabbi asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
The man asks, “Rabbi, we realize it’s tradition for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women at the reception. But, we’d like your permission to dance together.”
“Absolutely not,” says the rabbi. “It’s immodest.Men and women always dance separately.”
”So after the ceremony I can’t even dance with my own wife?”
“No,” answered the rabbi. “It’s forbidden.”
“Well, okay,” says the man, “what about sex?
Can we finally have sex?”
“Of course!” replies the rabbi. “Sex is a mitzvah (good thing) within marriage, to have children!”
“What about different positions?” asks the man.
“No problem,” says the rabbi. “It’s a mitzvah!”
“Woman on top?” the man asks.
“Sure,” says the rabbi. “Go for it! It’s a mitzvah!”
“Doggy style?”
“Sure! Another mitzvah!”
“On the kitchen table?”
“Yes, yes! A mitzvah!”
“Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno video?”
“You may indeed. It’s all a mitzvah!”
“Can we do it standing up?”
“No.” says the rabbi.”
“Why not?” asks the man.
“It could lead to dancing!”

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Top Clean Jew Jokes

Even though the dirty puns are extremely funny, we can’t tell them to anyone in your environment. If you don’t want people to think you are the immoral bastard, but want to show that you have a sense of humor, just take a look at these top clean gags and be sure that you won’t offend anyone!

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Four friends are sitting in a restaurant in Israel. For a long time, nobody says anything. Then, one man groans, “Oy.” “Oy vey,” says a second man. “Nu,” says the third. At this, the fourth man gets up from his chair and says, “If you guys don’t stop talking politics, I’m leaving!”

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Q: In the Jewish doctrine, when does a fetus become a human? A: When it graduates from med school.

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Dirty Jew Jokes

Jewish sex is the big mystery. Even though their community is orthodox, little Jewish boys and girls are born very often, don’t they? But they have so many sex laws and rules that people just can’t help making dirty jokes about this!

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A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, “Father, I’m 80 years old, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight attendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.”
The priest says, “Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?”
“Never Father, I’m Jewish.”
“So then, why are you telling me?”
“I’m telling everybody!”

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An Italian, an Irish and a Jewish guy are sitting around the bar boasting abour their ability to bring their respective wives to orgasm.
The Italian boasts and says, “When I finish making love to my wife she has such a strong orgasm that she screams for 15 minutes after I finish”
The irish guy boasts and says: “you think that’s a big deal?. When I finish making love to MY wife she screams for 30 minutes after I finish.
The Jewish guy looks at the others and says: you think you guys are so macho?. let me tell you about my wife. The last time I finished making love to her, I got out of bed, wiped my dick off with the bedroom curtain. My wife is still screaming!!!

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Best Jew Jokes of All Time

A lot of hilarious jokes are made about stereotypes. Well, Jews are the champions when it comes to them! We tried to find the best Jew gags of all time for you to have a really good laugh. Remember, nothing should be taken seriously!

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Q: How can you tell if someone is half Catholic and half Jewish?
A: When he goes to confession, he takes a lawyer with him

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Q: Why did the jew soundproof his house? A: So his kids couldn’t hear the ice cream truck

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Jewish Circumcision Joke

This tradition has long since become one of the most popular laughing matters. Come on, people just can’t ignore the fact that they cut the part of penis off! Some of these circumcision jokes are really bad, but they are still extremely funny!

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Q. What is the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? A. In a crucifixion, they throw out the whole Jew.

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Q: Why do Jewish men have to be circumcised? A: Because a Jewish women wont touch anything unless it’s 20% off

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Cheap Jew Jokes

Jewish people’s propensity to save money has already become legendary. A lot of jokes about this nation are related to money, and we tried to find the best gags about the Jews who want make everything as cheap as possible.

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Q: Why do jews wear yamakas? A: Half of a hat, its cheaper.

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Q: What’s faster than a speeding bullet? A: A Jew with a coupon.

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Great Rabbi Jokes

Rabbi jokes are less dirty than the jokes about the Catholic priests, but they still are hilarious! No one can deny that they are the ones who keep up all the traditions and have all the classic traits of their people and this very fact make the gags about them really great!

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A Priest, a minister and a Rabbi were sitting around wondering what to do with all the money they collected from charity.
The priest said: “I got an idea. Let’s draw a circle, throw all the money up in the air, and what falls in the circle we give to G-d.
The Minister said: “I got a better idea. Let’s draw a circle, throw all the money up in the air, and what falls outside the circle we give to G-d.
The Rabbi said: “I got even a better idea. Let’s draw a circle, throw all the money up in the air, and let G-d take what he wants, and what falls to the ground we keep!

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An orthodox Rabbi dies and goes to heaven. As he’s approaching the gates, he hears a band of singing and dancing angels approach, and begins to get excited. The lead angel approaches the Rabbi and asks if he would mind stepping aside for a moment. Shocked, the Rabbi does so. The angels march out of the gates and encircle a man who has also approached the gates. The man is an Egged bus driver [Egged, pronounced like egg-head without the h, is the Israeli tour bus company.] The joyous parade of angels carry the bus driver in ahead of the Rabbi. When the parade is gone, an angel returns to the Rabbi and says, “You can come in now.” The angel begins to lead the Rabbi inside alone. The Rabbi, somewhat confused, says, “I’m not one to make waves or anything, but I need to know something. I think I’ve been a good Rabbi. I’ve worked hard all my life. Why is it that the Egged bus driver gets led in by a band of angels ahead of me?” The angel says, “Well, frankly, Rabbi, whenever you preached, people slept. But whenever he drove, people prayed.”

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Jokes about Jewish People

And again, we’d like to emphasize that these awesome puns about Hebrews were made not to promote racism but to make you laugh! Enjoy these short but witty one-liners and don’t even think to take them seriously!

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Q: How do you say “fuck you” in Jewish? A: Trust me

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Q: What’s the definition of a queer Jew? A: Someone that likes girls more than money.

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Jewish Jokes For Kids

If you think that any joke about Jewish people is too offensive to laugh at it, check these nice gags out! They are perfect even for children, of course, if they are old enough to understand them.


Q: What is a Jews favorite kids movie? A: Who Framed Roger Rabbi?
Q: What does a Jewish pirate say? A: Ahoy vey!

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Jewish Easter jokes

Did you know that Jews also celebrate Easter, but they call it Passover? Though these two holidays are very similar, the celebration traditions are quite different, and these differences, as well as some facts related to Easter often become the laughing matter.

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Jewish Easter wouldn’t be complete without some chocolate rabbis!

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Nothing says ‘Enjoy your chocolate Easter eggs children’ like a bleeding, half-naked Jew nailed to a piece of wood.

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Matzah Jokes

Matzah, or matzo, is the special type of bread which is the invariable attribute of Passover. Being the dish of traditional Jewish cuisine, it seems strange for the rest of people, who usually don’t miss a chance to joke about it.

Q: What kind of cheese melts on a piece of matza to make a passover pizza? A: Matzarello

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Moishe took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench and began eating. A little while later a blind man came and sat down next to him. Feeling neighbourly, Moishe passed a sheet of matzo to the blind man. The blind man handled the matzo for a few minutes, looked puzzled, and finally exclaimed, “Who wrote this shit?”

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Offensive Jew Jokes

Well, these gags are really, really bad. Before you feel aggrieved, just remember that dark humor is always offensive and you can find a lot of inappropriate jokes about any other nation. Just take it easy and enjoy these inappropriate but funny jokes!

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Q: What is the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? A: In a crucifixion, they throw out the whole Jew.

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Hitler calls a meeting of his best soldiers and commanders and tells them “Alright I want to order the assassination of one thousand jews and four hedgehogs.”
Then one of his generals stands and says “But… Mein furhur why four hedgehogs?”
Hitler then smiles and says “See? No one gives a f*ck about the jews.”

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Jewish Money Jokes

These puns never get old! Come on, any nation has its specific traits, why not to make some jokes about it? They are always funny, even though they often are stereotypical as hell.

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A Jewish boy asks his father for twenty dollars. His father replied, “ten dollars, what in the world do you need five dollars for, I’d be happy to give you a dollar, here’s a quarter.”

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Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because the air is free.

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Best Jew Joke Ever

If you think that joke has to be long to be hilarious, these awesome and witty one-liners will prove you that you were wrong. Prepare to laugh in a few seconds – we tried to find the best laconic question-answer dialogues ever!

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Q: What’s the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A: Canoes sometimes tip.

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Q: A jew with a boner walks into a wall. A: What’s the first thing he breaks? His nose.

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Bad Jew Jokes

If you think that the previous puns were offensive, well, we have some news for you. Be careful if you have the very weak nerves – in this case, you’d better miss this category, as it’s really, really bad!

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A Jewish man walks into a bar and sits down. He has a few drinks, then he sees a Chinese man and punches him in the face. “Ouch!” the Chinese man says. “What was that for?” “That was for Pearl Harbor,” the Jewish man says. “But I’m Chinese!” “Chinese, Japanese, what’s the difference?” And the Jewish man sits back down. Then, the Chinese man walks up to the Jewish man and punches him in the face. “Ouch!” the Jewish man says.
“What was that for?” “That was for the Titanic,” the chinese man says.
“But that was an iceberg!” “Ice berg, Goldberg, what’s the difference?”

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Bernie an old Jewish codger, was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer.
“I want to become a lawyer. How much is it for that express degree you told me about?”
“It’s $50,000”, the lawyer said, “But why? You’ll be dead soon, why do you want to become a lawyer?”
“That’s my business!” answers Bernie, “Get me the course!”
Four days later, Bernie got his law degree. His lawyer was at his bedside making sure his bill would be paid.
Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing, and it was clear that this would be the end. Still curious, the lawyer leaned over and said, “Please Bernie, before it’s too late, tell me why you wanted to get a law degree so badly before you died?”
In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, Bernie said: “One less Jewish lawyer”.

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Good Jew Puns

Do you wanna have some pure fun? Unlike the previous ones, these puns are not cruel, but they are still hilarious! Another big advantage is that you don’t have to take a shower after reading some good jokes.

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Q: Did you hear about the Jewish troll? A: His name was Rumpled Foreskin

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Q: What’s the difference between four Christians and four Jews? A: Fore-skins!

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Jewish Bagel Jokes

A bagel, or a beigel, is the traditional bread product of Jewish cuisine. If you think that no one can make a joke about this bakery product looking like a donut, just check these gags out. You’ll definitely change your opinion!

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Q: What do you get when you cross a basset with a beagle? A: A bagel!

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Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea? A: If they flew over the bay, they’d be “bagels”

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Jewish Marriage Jokes

One of the most widespread stereotypes is about Hebrews is that they hate their married life. Maybe this is because some of them still choose marriage for money. Well, whatever the reason, these puns are hilarious, so enjoy!

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Q: Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? A: They’re worth it.

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Q: Why do Jewish men die before their wives? A: They want to.

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Rude Jew Jokes

If you hate offending people, but always want to make some fun, you can read these really rude and dark puns. Just don’t tell anyone about this. All in all, we all have some secrets. We won’t uncover yours.

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Q: What do you call a flying Jew? A: Ashes.

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Millie accompanied her husband Maurice to the doctor’s office.
After he had given Maurice a full checkup, the doctor called Millie into his office, alone. He said, “Maurice is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.
Each morning, wake him up gently with a long and passionate kiss, then fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times and make sure he is always in a good mood. Cook him only his favourite meals, lunch and dinner and allow him to fully relax after each. Don’t burden him with any chores and don’t discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. Don’t argue with him, even if he criticises you or makes fun of you. Let him be as arrogant as he wants to be. Try to relax him in the evening by wearing see-through lingerie. Give him plenty of ‘full relief’ body massages. Encourage him to watch all the sport he can on the TV, even if it means missing your favourite programs. And most importantly, make full and passionate love with Maurice every evening after dinner and satisfy his every whim. I suggest you also make oral love to him mid morning and mid afternoon.
If you can do all of this, every day, for the next 6 months, I think Maurice will regain his health completely.”
On the way home, Maurice asks Millie: “What did the doctor say?”
“He said you’re going to die,” she replied.

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Really Funny Jewish Jokes

If your friends are not moralfags, you can use these really funny puns to entertain them. But be careful, you’d better not share them with people who are not fond of jokes about the particular cultures and are ready to see discrimination in everything.

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Q: What is a Jews biggest dilemma? A: Free Pork.

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This older Jewish man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to receive the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.
“Yes Dad, what is it?”
“Don’t be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me… your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife…”

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Jew Birthday Jokes

Birthday is just another reason to joke and smile! The gags below are very different, so if you are sensitive, read the first one and ignore the second. There is a chance you just won’t handle this.

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On the morning of her birthday, Chaya told her husband Chaim Yankel, “I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond necklace for my birthday. What do you think it means?”
“Maybe you’ll find out tonight,” Chaim Yankel said, smiling.
That evening, Chaim Yankel came home with a small package and gave it to Chaya. She ripped off the wrapping paper and enclosed, found a book titled, “The Meaning of Dreams.”

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Q: What did Adolf Hitler give his 6 year old daughter for her birthday? A: An easy bake oven

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Bar Mitzvah Speech Jokes

Bar mitzvah is Jewish sacred ritual of coming of age celebrated by boys aged 13. According to the tradition, they have to make a speech for family and community. Doesn’t sound funny, right? However, the jokers imagined some hilarious situation which will make you smile today!

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Abe had done very well in business and had amassed a small fortune. Now he was looking to create the most unique and spectacular barmitzvah ever for his son Sam. But what should it be? He dismissed the Barmitzvah Safari – too many families had already done it. But then, after much investigation, Abe was sure he had cracked it – he would rent a spaceship and Sam would be the first barmitzvah space boy. He started on the plans immediately.
In due course, the spaceship took off with his family and friends (and his Rabbi, of course) on board. When they returned, the media was there to find out how the journey had gone.
The first person off the shuttle was the bubbeh.
“How was the service, grandma?” asked the Jewish Chronicle reporter.
“OK,” she replied.
“And how was Sam’s speech?”
“OK.”
“So how was the food?”
“OK.”
“Everything was just OK? Why aren’t you more enthusiastic? What went wrong?”
“There was no atmosphere.”

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Lionel is getting quite bald and his daughter Sharon’s batmitzvah is coming up. All his friends and family would be there so, well even men can be vain; he gets fitted with an expensive wig.
During the batmitzvah party, everything went well. Nevertheless, Lionel thought that everyone must have seen his wig. Next day, Sharon sees his worried look and says, “What’s the matter, Daddy? Why are you so sad?”
“I’m not really sad,” he replies, “it’s just that I’m sure everyone yesterday saw that I was wearing a wig.”
“No they didn’t, Daddy,” Sharon says, “no one I told knew.”

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Funny Gay Jew Jokes

Of course, the sons of Israel also can be homosexuals, but everything can become really complicated if you live in the Orthodox community. Even though this issue is more than serious, you should read some puns about gay Jews – the fun is guaranteed!

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Q: How do you say homosexual in Jewish? A: heblew.

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Sidney goes to see his psychiatrist. As soon as he lies down on the couch, he says, “I needed to have this appointment because I’m sure I’m gay.”
Doctor Myers says, “And what, please tell me, makes you think you’re gay?”
“Well,” says Sidney, “my father Hershel was gay and so was my grandfather.”
“So what?” says doctor Myers, “that doesn’t make you gay as well. No one has proven that homosexuality is hereditary.”
“Well what if I told you that my 2 younger brothers are also gay?” says Sidney.
“Well that would be interesting,” says doctor Myers. “Is there anyone else in your family who you think is gay?”
“My cousin and uncle are,” replies Sidney.
“I must admit,” says doctor Myers, “that I’ve never come across this before. Is there anyone in your family who has sex with women?”
“Yes,” replied Sidney, “my sister.”

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Sick Jew Jokes

We have to warn you that these puns are unbelievably sick. The World War 2 is the most horrible event in the history of the nation, while the greed is the most widespread stereotype, but God, how funny these jokes are! Just read them, laugh, and never tell anybody about this.

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Q: What’s the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A: A boy scout comes back from his camp.

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Q: What did the Jewish pedophile say to the child? A: “Wanna buy some candy?”

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Worst Jew Jokes

Well, these jokes are even crueler than the previous ones. Undoubtedly, they are the worst examples of really dark gags. However, they are as offensive as hilarious, so just try to stifle the voice of conscience and enjoy!


Q: What’s the best way to get a Jewish girls number? A: Roll up her sleeve.
Q: Why didn’t Anne Frank finish her diary? A: She needed more concentration.

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Jew Jokes One Liners

Short puns can also be extremely funny! Check these witty one-liners out and feel free to tell them to your friends. If they have a sense of humor, you’ll definitely make them smile!

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Q: Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backward? A: They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.

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Q: What do you call the steaks ordered by ten Jewish men? A: Fillet minyan

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Jewish Christmas Jokes

Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, but it doesn’t mean we can’t imagine that they actually do. Moreover, the situations described in these jokes aren’t even offensive! Ho! Ho! Ho! It’s time to have some fun!

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Q. What does the Jewish Santa Claus say? A. Ho! Ho! Ho! Anybody wanna buy some toys?

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Q: How does a Jew celebrate Christmas? A: He installs a parking meter on the roof.

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Jewish Cheap Jokes

As it has been already mentioned, the Jewish passion for saving money became legendary. Probably, people will never stop joking about this. The better for us! Enjoy these hilarious puns and remember – any rule has its exceptions!

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Q: How was copper wire invented? A: Two jews fighting over a penny.

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Q: How do you start a Jewish parade? A: Throw a penny down main street.

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Classic Israeli Jokes

Israel is sacred to Hebrews. However, fortunately for all comedians, it also becomes the super-stereotypical place perfect to joke about. Furthermore, it has a long and great history, which has already become the basis of numerous classic jokes!

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Q: Did you hear about the new facility Kraft Foods is building in Israel? A: It’s called “Cheeses of Nazareth.

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On the sixth day God turned to the angel Gabriel and said, “Today I am going to create a land called Israel. It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty. It will have rolling hills and mountains full of goats and eagles, a beautiful, sparkling, clear ocean full of sea life and high cliffs overlooking white sandy beaches.” God continued, “And I shall make the land rich in oil to allow the inhabitants to prosper. I shall call these inhabitants “Jews” and they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth.” “But,” asked Gabriel, “Don’t you think you’re being too generous to these Jews?” “Not really,” replied God, “just wait and see the neighbours I am going to give them.”

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Jewish Women Jokes

Undoubtedly, these women are gorgeous – housewifely, loving, and caring. But still, there are a lot of awesome gags about them. No offenses, the same can be said about some women or even men of any nation in the world, so relax and have a good laugh!

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Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry

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Q: Why do Jewish women prefer sleeping with circumcised men? A: Because they want 15% off everything.

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Old Jewish Jokes

It seems that when we become older, all over personal traits become more explicit and accentuated. This also applies to national traits, and that’s great. So check these awesome jokes out! Finally, we will all grow old one day, why not to laugh at this now?

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Q: How can you tell if a dirty old man is Jewish? A: He says, “Wanna buy a piece of candy little girl?”

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Two elderly Jewish ladies meet on a street corner.
“So Sadie, how’s by you I haven’t seen you in years?”
“Marvelous, Rivkeh, things couldn’t be better! My son Harold is an Accountant making lots of money. My daughter Cynthia married a rich man, and both of my children have given me beautiful grandchildren and so much naches…but enough about my joys…so what’s by you and your family?”
“Oy Sadie, don’t ask! Me, I have such tsores!”
“Nu Rivkeh, I’m so sorry to hear that; but what kind of tsores?”
“It’s my son Arnold. He revealed to us that he’s a faygeleh.”
“Oy, a faygeleh, what a disaster!”
“I know, but we do have a consolation…”
“Vos for a consolation with a faygeleh?”
“Well, he’s going with such a nice Jewish boy who’s going to be a doctor!”

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Yiddish Humor

Yiddish is the ancient language which has two major modern forms. Though it’s mostly spoken by Jews, the great wordplays in English and Yiddish are totally clear for anyone, so you can enjoy these perfect linguistic puns!

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Sadie, an elderly lady, goes up to a man at a bus stop in Golders Green.
She tugs on the sleeve of his coat and asks, “Farshtayn Yiddish?”
The man answers, “Yes, Ich Farshtay.”
Sadie then says, “Vot Time is It?”

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These two Jewish men are sitting in a wonderful deli frequented almost exclusively by Jews in the Jewish section of town. They are talking among themselves in Yiddish. A Chinese waiter comes up and in fluent and impeccable Yiddish asks them if everything is okay, can he get them anything, and so forth. The Jewish men are dumbfounded. “My God, where did he learn such perfect Yiddish?” they both think. After they pay the bill they ask the manager of the store, an old friend also fluent in Yiddish, “Where did your waiter learn such fabulous Yiddish?” The owner looks around and leans in so no one will hear and says, “Shhhh. He thinks we’re teaching him English.”

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Short Jewish Jokes

They say that brevity is the soul of wit, and this wisdom definitely applies to jokes. These short punch lines are short and concise, and this makes them even more sparkling!

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Jewish people are the most optimistic people in the world. They have some cut off before they even know how big it will get.

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Q: Did you hear about the new tires, Firestein? A: They not only stop on a dime, they also pick it up!

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Hebrew Jokes in English

We have already mentioned the Hebrew language which can become really funny if combined with English. This little dialogue and a story will definitely make you smile, especially if you are fond of learning languages.

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Q: How does Moses make his coffee? A: Hebrews it.

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Moishe Miller was having some trouble in Hebrew class.
To encourage him, his teacher Mrs. Shalva said, “You’ll know you’re really beginning to get it when you start dreaming in Hebrew.”
One day, Moishe ran into class all excited, saying, “Mrs. Shalva! I had a dream last night and everyone was talking in Hebrew!”
“Great!” said Mrs. Shalva. “What were they saying?”
“I don’t know,” Moishe replied; “I couldn’t understand them.”

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Hilarious Judaism Jokes

If you think that you have already known everything about the sons of Israel and read all possible jokes about them, these great stories will show you that you were wrong. We saved the most hilarious ones for last!

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A rabbi, a priest and a minister are discussing when life begins. The priest says: “In our religion, life begins at conception.” The Minister says: “We disagree. We believe that life begins when the fetus is viable away from the mother’s womb.” The rabbi responds: “You both are wrong. In our religion life begins when the kids graduate college and the dog dies.”

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Every day a religious Jew was seen davening in front of the Western Wall in Jerusalem. One day, a non-observant Israeli walked up to him and said, “I see you here every day, seven days a week. Tell me, what are you praying to G-d for?” To this, the man replied, “I am telling G-d of my tsuris (troubles), of my financial problems, about my daughter who can’t find a husband, and asking him to help me.” “Well,” the secular Jew asked, “does He send you help?” The man turned to him and said, “No, but what do you expect? It’s like talking to a wall.”

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Jewish Thanksgiving Joke

Thanksgiving gags are super cool, and Jewish jokes about this holiday are even better! They are a little bit cruel and bad, but they will make you laugh at loud!

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Q: How is a Jewish woman like a Thanksgiving turkey? A: Her husband only gets to stuff her once a year.

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Abbey, how did you celebrate thanksgiving?
In an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

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