Hilarious Jokes For Adults

  • What has got two legs and bleeds? -Half a dog!
  • How do you clear out an Afghani bingo game? -Call B52
  • What’s the difference between a tire and 365 condoms? -One’s a Goodyear and the other is a fucking goodyear
  • Why do they call it the wonder bra? -When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
  • What kind of bees produce milk? -Boobies
  • What have women and condoms got in common? -If they’re not on your dick they’re in your wallet.
  • How do we know the Mayflower liked America? -It hugged the shore.
  • What did Bill Clinton say to Monica Lewinsky? -I told you to lick my erection, not wreck my election.
  • What’s worst than having sex with a pregnant woman? -Having sex with a pregnant woman and getting a bj by the baby.
  • Why did God give men penises? -So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.
  • What do you call a turkey on the run? -Fast food.
  • What do you call it when a boy and girl make love for the first time? -Cumming of Age.
  • What is the most common crime in China? -Identity Fraud.
  • Did you hear about the Waffle House waitress they found murdered behind the restaurant dumpster? -She was scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, and diced.
  • What did the banana say to the vibrator? -Why are YOU shaking? She’s going to eat me! One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister.” Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send me your mother.” Q; Whats the difference between the Florida State football team and a Florida State cheerleader? -They both suck for four quarters. Q; What’s the difference between a rabbi and a priest? -A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off
  • If fruit comes from a fruit tree, what does a turkey come from? -A poul-tree.
  • What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? -One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit. A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.
  • Whats the difference between light and hard? -You can go to sleep with a light on!
  • Why do dwarfs laugh when they play soccer? -The grass tickles their balls
  • What’s even better than winning the Special Olympics -Not being a retard.

Hilarious Jokes For Adults