Hilarious Dirty Puns

  • What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection? A Quarter Ponder with Cheese.
  • How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck ? When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them
  • Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.
  • What’s the real definition of a male chauvinist pig? A man who hates every bone in a woman’s body—except his.
  • What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man? The PGA tour.
  • What do fat chicks and mopeds have in common? They are both fun to ride till a friend sees you on them…
  • How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles
  • What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? The man.
  • What’s the difference between being hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber. What did the elephant say to a naked man? Hey that’s cute but can you breath through it?
  • Whats the worst thing about dating a blonde? If you don’t know what hole to put it in neither do they.
  • Why did God give men penises? So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.
  • What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.
  • What did the O say to the Q? Dude, your dick’s hanging out.
  • How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist!
  • How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.
  • Why do vegetarians give good head? Because they’re used to eating nuts.
  • What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market? Good morning ladies.
  • What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob.
  • What do you call two men fighting over a slut? Tug-of-whore.
  • Three words to ruin a man’s ego…? “Is it in?”

Hilarious Dirty Puns