Good Jokes For Adults

  • What did the hard boiled egg say to the boiling water? -I can’t get a hard-on because I was just layed.
  • What sound does a turkey with a limp make? -Wobble, wobble.
  • What does a rubix cube and a Penis have in common? -The more you play with it the harder it gets.
  • What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar? -Man, I blew like 50 bucks in there.
  • Did you hear that the energizer bunny was arrested? -He was charged with battery.
  • Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? -They don’t have balls to scratch.
  • What do you call a dictionary on drugs? -addictionary.
  • What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? -Snowballs.
  • What’s warm, wet, and pink? -a pig in a hot tub.
  • Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team? -Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.
  • What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common? -The older they get the easier they are to pick up. If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage.
  • Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? -He got himself into a real stew.
  • What do bread and autistic kids have in common? -They both have special needs
  • What is the definition of Confidence? -When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her on the ass and say, “You’re next Baby… !”
  • A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
  • Why were the two whores travelling in London pissed off? -Because they found out that Big Ben was a clock!
  • Which side of the turkey has more feathers? -The outside.
  • How do you embarrass an archaeologist? -Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
  • When does a cub become a boy scout? -When he eats his first Brownie.
  • Did you hear Lorena Bobbit just died? -Yeah I heard she was on the freeway and some dick cut her off.

Good Jokes For Adults