Funny Short Nasty Jokes

  • What would happen if you cut off your left side? You would be all right.
  • What’s the cure for marriage? Alcoholism.
  • How is sex like a game of bridge? If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
  • Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn’t budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil.
  • What’s 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild? a $100 bill!
  • What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are YOU shaking? She’s going to eat me!
  • How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Call and tell her about it.
  • Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey? Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
  • What do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a pool? Vegetable soup.
  • Why are men like diapers? They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.
  • Whats the difference between the Florida State football team and a Florida State cheerleader? They both suck for four quarters. What’s the difference between a rabbi and a priest? A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off
  • Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering A minor.
  • Why Are crippled people always picked on? Because they can’t stand up for themselves
  • Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey? Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.
  • What is the difference between oral and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.
  • What’s worse than spiders on your piano? Crabs on your organ.
  • What do you call a terrorist attack in the Middle East? a Selfie!
  • What do girls and noodles have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
  • What do you call a bunny with a crooked dick? FUCKS FUNNY
  • What’s the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid and you don’t
  • How do you kill a circus clown? Go for the juggler!
  • What has got two legs and bleeds? Half a dog!
  • Whats 72? 69 with three people watching

Funny Short Nasty Jokes