Funny Dirty Jokes For Adults

  • How do you know if your boyfriend has a high sperm count? -You have to chew before you swallow!
  • What do you call a teenage girl who doesn’t masturbate? -A liar.
  • What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? -The NBA.
  • What does a good bar and a good woman have in common? -Liquor in the front and poker in the back!
  • How do you make a pool table laugh? -Tickle its balls
  • What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? -A microwave doesn’t brown your meat!
  • What did the turkey say to the bird hunter on Thanksgiving Day? -Quack, quack.
  • How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck ? -When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them
  • What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection? -A Quarter Ponder with Cheese.
  • But do you know what 6.9 is? -A good thing screwed up by a period.
  • What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
  • What do you call an afghan virgin -Mever bin laid on
  • What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit? -If we don’t get some support soon, people will think we’re nuts!
  • What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? -Wiped his ass.
  • What did one tampon say to the other? -Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.
  • Why did god invent alcohol? -So fat women can get laid too.
  • Whats thirty feet long and smells like urine? -Line dancing at a nusing home.
  • Why don’t they teach Driver’s Ed and sex education on the same day in the Middle East? -They don’t want to wear out the camel.
  • What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown? -A cheater, cheater, woman beater.
  • What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? -Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.

Funny Dirty Jokes For Adults