Asian Jokes

First of all, it should be emphasized that all ethnicities and nations are unique, and that’s undoubtedly great. Finally, diversity makes our world bright and colorful. Do you know what else makes the life better? Great Asian jokes! You can argue that they are always about stereotypes, and you’ll be right. You can say that they are often racist, and again, you’ll be right. But even though they may sound stereotypical, inappropriate or offensive, they are still hilarious! Come on, nothing has to be taken seriously, we’re here for fun! If you are fond of dirty gags, check the Asian sex jokes, if you like the interesting and ironic wordplays, check the puns we found for you! We are sure that you can easily find the category of Asian jokes you like the most!

Asian Food Jokes

Before you feel offended by these jokes, remember that stereotypes are everything. Well, Americans like hamburgers, Russians – vodka, Asians – rice and sushi. Why not joke about this? Just take it easy and enjoy these gags about Asians and their favorite food.

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Q: What do you call an Asian family tree?
A: A rice bush.

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Q: Why can’t Chinese Barbecue? A: Because the rice falls through the grill

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Hilarious Asian Girl Jokes

Before you read these jokes, please remember that in fact all men like Asian girls. If they are so flat, why do you search for hot videos with them on porn sites? Even though the Chinese and Japanese jokes are often super hot, no one can forbid us laughing at the most common stereotypes about them!

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What’s the flattest surface you can iron your clothes on? Asian girl’s ass.

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Why do Asian girls have small boobs? Because only A’s are acceptable

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Asian Penis Jokes

We’d like to apologize to all Asian men for all the gags you can find below. Come on, African Americans laugh at white men penises all the time, and no one feels aggrieved. Furthermore, there is no rule without exceptions, and if you are Asian with a huge advantage which can break all the stereotypes, please accept our congratulations!

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What happened to the Asian when he walked into a wall with a boner? He hit his nose.

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Q: Why do Asian men like big tits and a tight ass? A: Because they’ve got big mouths and little dicks.

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Top Stupid Asian Jokes

Have you ever heard the joke which was stupid as hell but made you laugh your ass off? Well, if not, we found some for you. It seems that obvious dumbness of these top primitive puns is the spice which makes them so hilarious. Like a stupid comedy, they are awful and funny at the same time.

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A Chinese couple had a black baby. They named him Sum Sing Wong.

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My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day, but he just kept whispering “Chun Yu Yan” over and over – and then died. I was very sad and googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means “You’re standing on my oxygen tube.”

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Asian Short Jokes

Just believe us that the joke doesn’t have to be long to be awesome. Check these laconic and short puns out – though they are not the stories with a lot of details, they’ll definitely make the most of your friends smile, of course, if they are not obsessed with the idea that people can’t joke about the race.

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They throw silverware down the stairs until they hear something they like.

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Hardest job in the world: police sketch artist in China.

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Asian Dick Jokes

Well, these jokes never get old. And again, we insist that nothing has to be taken seriously. Dear Asian guys, these stereotypes can even work in your favor – if you have a big or middle-sized dick, your girlfriend will think that your penis is the huge one! If not, well, she is at least prepared for that.

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The problem with North Koreans is that their missiles are as small as their penises

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There are three guys in a bar. A black guy, a white guy, and an Asian guy. A woman comes into the bar and says “if your collective dick sizes don’t add up to at least 15 inches, I’ll shoot all three of you.” The black guy pulls out his dick with an impressive 9 inches. Next the white guy pulls out his dick with 5 inches for a total of 14 inches. The black a white guys look very nervously at the Asian guy. He pulls his out with 1 inch. All three guys sigh in relief as the woman says “well done, have a night”. After the woman walks out the Asian guy turns to the other two and says “you’re lucky I popped a boner”.

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Racist Asian Jokes One Liners

Dear sensitive boys and girls, if you feel offended when hearing the words “black”, “white” or “Asian”, you’d better miss this category. The puns we collected are racist but also hilarious. If you don’t really care about political and racial connotations, just enjoy.

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God made each and everyone of us until he got to China. Copy paste…copy paste…

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What the number one crime in asia? Identity theft.

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Asian Sex Jokes

Dirty jokes are all the same – they are always hilarious! Mother Nature made sex pretty disgusting, and people never stop joking about this. Maybe these puns are not about sex itself, but the wordplays make us think about dirty things, don’t they?

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Q: What does a gay order in a Chinese restaurant? A: Sum Yung Gi.

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A guy asks a Chinese girl for her phone number she says, “Free, sex, free, sex, tonight.”
The guy said,” wow” and her friend says she means 363629.

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Insulting Asian Jokes

Guys, we apologize for these gags, but they are hilarious. One can fairly argue that they may are quite stupid, but come on, who had ever heard the mind-blowing joke about behaviorism or Aristotle’s theories? It’s just humor, and we came here to laugh!

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How do you know if an Asian robbed you? Your homework is done and cats gone.

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God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.

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Asian Dudes Jokes

And again, these puns are the pure concentration of all stereotypes about Asian dudes. We don’t think that they are true, but they are definitely funny. Strange love for cats and small penises is what makes people laugh, no matter if they consider themselves to be better than that.

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Chinese guy: I’m chinese American girl: No your not Chinese guy: Yes I am. american girl: Proove it Chinese guy: How? American girl: Pull down your pants.

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Q: What do you call a Chinese Billionaire? A: Cha Ching!

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Asian Guy Jokes

Just check these hilarious stories out! Unlike the most of the short gags, they even have a plot, the very offensive plot, if honestly. But still, they are perfect to fill the spot in conversation with a friend, of course, if he or she is not a moralfag.

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There were 3 brothers from China, Bu, Chu and Fu. When they moved to America, they decided to change their names. Bu changed his name to Buck. Chu changed his name to Chuck. And Fu… well, he had to go back to China.

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A black guys is walking through the woods, he starts to hear a sounds.
It goes ching chong wu.
So he starts to walk to wear he heard the sound.
Soon enough he comes across a Chinese guy and a river.
The black guy ask was that noise.
The Chinese guy say, every time I throw a quarter in this river it tells me a name of an old relative.
See watch, Chinese guy throws a quarter, ching chong chun.
The black guy says let me try.
He throws a quarter in and the river says, chimpanzee.

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Jokes About Asian Eyes

Well, people become really crazy when it comes to their appearance. Try to tell a fat girl that she is fat and you’ll hear a lot of interesting things about you. Tell something about eyes to the Asian and you’ll be called the dirty racist.

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My teacher sends this Chinese kid out of the classroom cause she thought he was sleeping.
-_-

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Hey! Don’t make fun of Asian drivers! It’s not their fault they have their eyes blocking out the vision!

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Most Racist Asian Jokes

Warning: these gags offend as Asians, as Mexicans, so you’d better not tell them to the representatives of these two ethnicities. But you feel free to tell them to your friends, at least to those who understand that it’s just humor, nothing more and nothing less.

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Q: How do you know if Asians are moving into the neighborhood? A: The Mexicans start buying car insurance.

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Asian? A car thief that can’t drive.

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Asian Jokes

These stories have already become the classics. As always, they are based on the most common stereotypes but come on, who cares. They are still funny and it’s the only thing that matters.

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After a number of attempts to get the customer service agent on the phone to understand his name, my Asian American friend Appappa decided to spell it out.
“A for apple,” he began. “P for pineapple, p for pineapple, a for apple, p for pineapple, p for—”
The flustered agent interrupted.
“I have a better idea,” she said. “Just tell me how many apples and how many pineapples.”

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Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners.
He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.”
“Hans Olaffsen?”, he muses. “How the heck does that fit in here?”
So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.
The tourist asks, “How did this place get a name like ‘Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'”
The old man answers, “Is name of owner.”
The tourist asks, “Well, who and where is the owner?”
“Me, is right here,” replies the old man.
“You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?”
“Is simple,” says the old man. “Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, ‘What your name?’
He say, ‘Hans Olaffsen.’
Then she look at me and go, ‘What your name?’
I say, ‘Sem Ting.'”

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Asian Driving Jokes

When somebody sees Asian people driving it makes he or she think that they are actually drunk. Come on, we all have our little disadvantages, why not to have a good laugh at them? If you are Chinese and feel offended, just check some jokes about fat Americans out and restore the balance.

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Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.

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Asians are so bad at driving, I’m starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.

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Saw this bumper sticker in L.A. – “I’m not drunk, I’m Asian”

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Asian Puns

Who can imagine the good list of jokes without awesome wordplays? Check these puns, but be ready – they are definitely nice and sweet. If such topics as death or babies with some problems aggrieve you, you’d better miss this category.

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My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.

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What do you name an Asian baby with problems? Sum ting wong.

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Fat Asian Jokes

It’s ok for white or black people to be fat. At least we don’t feel surprised when we see them. But everything changes when it comes to Asians guys, especially children. They look weird and funny mainly because these nations are super-healthy. That is why people just can’t help laughing at this!

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What do you call a fat Asian? A chunk

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What do you call a fat Chinese prostitute? Chun Ki Ho.

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Racist Asian Insults

If you have already read the previous offensive jokes, you are finally prepared now. These sick and horrible insults are only for true dark humor fans. If you belong to them, just enjoy, if not, decide whether you are ready to read these cruel gags.

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Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it’s solved then there’s a little Asian in there.

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How do you blindfold an Asian? With dental floss!

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Q: What happens when you spin an asian man on a swivel chair? A: He gets disoriented!

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Good Asian People Jokes

These jokes are relatively innocent and nice, especially when compared to the previous dark and inappropriate gags. So you can remember some to share with friends without the fear that they won’t talk to you anymore.

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An Asian lady went into labor and her child came out black. The doctor asked her if she picked a name for the baby and she said, “Yea, Som Ting Wong!” (Something’s wrong)

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Do the Chinese realize when they are buying souvenirs in America, they are buying things made in their own country?

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Most Offensive Asian Jokes

And again, we apologize for everything written below. We won’t say that these gags are not made to offend anyone, actually, they are, but we really consider Asian people to be great. But come on, we all make fun of others, no matter if they are bad or not.

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Asian face + stove = frying pan

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Q: What’s the problem with an Asian pet store?
A: There’s always a kitchen in the back.

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Q: Why do Chinese people have Chinese babies?
A: Because two Wongs don’t make a white.

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Yo Mama So Asian Jokes

If you think that this kind of gags are for children you are probably right. The question is why people use them till they die? Maybe because they are still funny? So check these jokes out and don’t think you are adult enough not to laugh at them.

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Yo mama’s so Asian she won the gold at the karaoke Olymics.

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phone book.

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Asian Stereotypes Jokes

Undoubtedly, all ethnicity jokes are about stereotypes. Just think, there is no nation without its unique traits, and that’ definitely great. So please, ignore your political-social conscience and tolerance, relax and have some fun!

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Q: What do you do when your computer gets wet? A: Put it in a bowl of rice, an Asian will show up and they will fix it.

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Guys, enough with the Asian jokes…they’re all the same.

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When a white person delivers an asian baby.
White person: “Congratulations he looks like your husband… mom… cousin… uncle… neighbor…”

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White Women Asian Men Humor

As we all know, Steve Harvey had to apologize for the book he wrote. People who read it say that it contains a lot of racist jokes related to Asian men dating the white and black women. We, in turn, don’t want to find ourselves in the same situation, so we’d better provide you with relatively neutral gags.

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(Asian guy to white girl) I’m Asian and I’ll eat your cat

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On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck:
• 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
• 2 French men and 1 French woman
• 2 German men and 1 German woman
• 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
• 2 English men and 1 English woman
• 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
• 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
• 2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman
• 2 American men and 1 American woman
• 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
One month later on these same absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean, and another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.
The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores.
The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide because the American woman keeps endlessly complaining about her body; the true nature of feminism; how she can do everything they can do; the necessity of fulfillment; the equal division of household chores; how sand and palm trees make her look fat; how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do; how her relationship with her mother is improving and how at least the taxes are low and it isn’t raining.
The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whisky. But they’re satisfied because at least the English aren’t having any fun.